Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By

CrazySugarFreakBoy!
Sun Oct 29, 2006 at 09:47:06 pm EST
Subject
Mothers, Maidens & Marriage: Six Characters in Search of a Cosplay
[New] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]
 		Next In Thread >>

Mothers, Maidens & Marriage: Six Characters in Search of a Cosplay

“Okay, ladies,” instructed Meggan Foxxx, Action Figure, as she finished donning the ocean blue, sunset orange and snow white feathers, wings and falcon-styled headdress of the Sorceress of Castle Grayskull. “Time to line up and make sure each of our outfits fits us right, in all the right places.”

“Yes, because we shall appear so much more absurd, wearing costumes meant to resemble those of ill-conceived fantasy characters, drawn from a poorly animated 1980s television cartoon, that itself was little more than a glorified commercial for cheaply manufactured children’s toys, if our attire is not properly tailored,” observed the Priestess Pelopia, the Disciple of Logos, even as she assented to Meg’s inspection of her onyx black, amethyst purple and turquoise blue suit, cape and helmet as Skeletor’s ally, Evil-Lyn.

“It’s Halloween, or at least, it will be, in a few days,” countered April Alice Apple, a.k.a. the Groovy Gecko-Gal, as she struggled to fit her considerably endowed bosom into the relatively confining bra of her own gleaming gold and ivory white suit as Teela, Captain of the Royal Guard of Eternia, which was similar in style to the ensemble which Pelopia wore much more comfortably, aside from its color scheme and absence of a cape, as well as its substitution of Teela’s tiara, to pin up April’s long red hair, for Evil-Lyn’s helmet, to cover Pelopia’s bald scalp. “Dressing up like a dork is part of the whole point of the holiday. That being said, Meg, I think my cups runneth over, here.”

“Goddamn, girl, your boobs are almost as big as mine,” Meg admired, before measuring to make sure. “Yeah, we’re definitely gonna have to let out the chest. How about you, baby?” she checked with the other woman in the cramped changing room. “You doing okay?”

“This fucking sucks,” pouted Gwendolyn “Wendy” Leslie, a.k.a. PsychoAcidPervGirl!, in her Teela-toned gold-and-white mini-dress and tiara, set off by a rose red cape, even as she clutched the crystal-set, steely silver sword of She-Ra, Princess of Power. “If you people were actually cool, you’d be using the revamped character designs, from the latest Masters of the Universe TV series and action figure line, as your costume references, and you’d let me dress up as Evil-Lyn, instead of Lex-Luthor-with-a-sex-change, over there. Of course, if you were cool, I’d get to gear up in my devil horns, vampire fangs, bat wings, corset, fishnets and stilettos.”

“Oh, my, what a thrillingly original outfit,” April rolled her eyes. “For Halloween, just as you do on the other 364 days of the year, you’d be going out as The Girl Who Shops at Hot Topic. You promised your big brother, like we all did, that you’d go along with whatever theme he came up with for our family’s costumes, and he settled on old-school He-Man, long before he left for Faerie. For the record, I wouldn’t have minded the updated Teela ensemble myself, especially since it would have offered my thunder-thighs the relative modesty of a mini-dress like yours, but our boy has no desire to get married in what amounts to ‘Ultimate He-Man’ attire … and when he puts it that way, neither do I. We should be iconic.”

“If it makes you feel any better, baby, I promise, if your father and I ever get married ourselves, no Halloween wedding,” Meg assured her still-sulking teenaged daughter, Wendy, while attempting to slip the pumpkin orange hat and wine red robe of Orko, the impish magician from Trolla who was He-Man’s best friend, onto the tiny, wriggling body of her increasingly fussy infant granddaughter, Iris Paintbrush Sunrise. “Granted, I seem to have regained a lot of the ‘guilt points’ I originally had on Louis, since he and I are now in the newly reconciled phase of our relationship, but I’m guessing I spent most of those getting him to gear up in Man-at-Arms’ amber orange and forest green battle armor.”

“Is Louis Laughing Fox not currently romantically involved with one or more other women?” Pelopia inquired with unintentional brusqueness, while Meg’s toddler son, Oliver “Ollie” Hastings, tried to squirm free of her grasp, as she adjusted the sky blue padded muscles and midnight indigo loincloth and hood of the endearingly squat and scowl-faced Skeletor.

“Yeah, and I have no plans to retire from the ‘blue biz’ anytime soon, so neither one of us is exactly ready to pursue or practice anything approaching exclusive monogamy just yet,” Meg shrugged her shoulders. “If anyone else but one of my own children had described the near-death experience that Dream did, I would have called bullshit on them without even blinking. As it stands, even coming from my grown son, the spirituality of such a so-called ‘vision’ is a bit much for me to swallow. Even if I don’t believe it myself, though, I don’t doubt for a second that Dream does … and for that matter, so does his father, which means that the only reason Louis left our family was because he honestly thought it was the only way to save us, from whatever the hell was supposedly hunting him. He loved us so much, that he was willing to walk away from us forever. No, we can’t get back those years we spent apart, and no, there’s no guarantee we’ll even be able to make things work out between us now, after leading separate lives for so long, but I refuse to live in the regret of deferred desires, wondering what could have been, without taking advantage of this second chance.”

Wendy sought to defuse the solemn silence that ensued by stirring up a touch of trouble, as she smirked and teased April, “Speaking of exclusive monogamy and deferred desires, do these upcoming nuptials signal the end of an era, of any further fun and freaky three-ways between you, my big brother and certain electro-blondes from alternate dimensions?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, Triana Orpheus,” April frowned. “He’s my boy, and I’m his girl, and that’s why we’re getting married, but as long as we’re both willing and interested, there’s no reason why we can’t invite others to come join us and … play,” she grinned mischievously. “Besides, I’m not giving up on the chance to see my boy and his best friend become boyfriends in our bed just yet.”


K-Box's Sanity Assassins Forum



Posted from U.S. Company
using Microsoft Internet Explorer 7/Windows XP
[New] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]
Follow-Ups:

Echo™ v3.0 beta © 2003-2006 Powermad Software
Copyright © 2004-2006 by Mangacool Adventure